Top Puns & Wordplay Collection
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
I used to be a banker,
but I lost interest.
I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille.
Something bad is about to happen — I can feel it.
The rotation of Earth
really makes my day.
I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
Broken pencils are
pointless.
A boiled egg in the morning
is hard to beat.
I'm no cheetah...
You're lion!
What do you call a dinosaur that crashes their car?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant,
but then I changed my mind.
England doesn't have a kidney bank,
but it does have a Liverpool.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words.
Velcro — what a rip-off!
Need an ark?
I Noah guy.
I used to be addicted to soap,
but I'm clean now.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line.
A steak pun is a
rare medium well done.
I tried to write a chemistry joke,
but I couldn't get a reaction.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Because they lactose.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
A sham-rock.
Why did the coffee go to the police?
It got mugged.
I used to hate math,
but then I realized decimals have a point.
I had a great poker joke,
but I decided to fold.
That casino trip was a
gamble, but I'm all in.
Slot machines are like my ex —
they take all my money and never give anything back.
I don't always go to the casino,
but when I do, I raise the stakes.