Casino & Gambling Jokes Collection
What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?
In a casino, you really mean it!
A man walks into a casino with $100 and walks out with a small fortune.
He walked in with a large fortune.
Why do casinos have carpets?
So you can't tell if it's day or night — time is an illusion when you're losing money!
What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
I can't deal with you anymore!
Why are fish bad at poker?
They're afraid of the river!
What's a gambler's favorite music?
Heavy metal — they love the sound of coins!
Why did the poker player go to the eye doctor?
He couldn't see his bluff!
What do you call a poker game with no wild cards?
Mild cards.
How do slot machines communicate?
They just reel you in!
Why was the blackjack table so cold?
Too many fans!
What's the difference between a lottery ticket and a casino?
The casino at least has free drinks!
A man won $3 million at a casino. His wife asked what they should do.
He said, 'We? Who's we?'
Why don't vampires gamble?
They have too much at stake!
What did one slot machine say to the other?
Are you feeling lucky, or are we both just spinning our wheels?
Why is a casino like a good relationship?
You go all in, get burned, and somehow come back for more!
I asked the pit boss if the casino was honest.
He said, 'I wouldn't bet on it.'
Why did the man bring a ladder to the casino?
Because the stakes were too high!
What do casino workers eat for breakfast?
Fortune cookies!
My doctor told me to stop going to the casino.
I said 'I bet you $100 I won't.'
Why don't casino owners ever get stressed?
They always know the odds are in their favor!
You know you're in Laughlin when...
The hotel room costs less than your dinner buffet!
You know you're in Laughlin when...
You can see three casinos from your hotel pool!
You know you're in Laughlin when...
The Colorado River is the only thing flowing faster than the free drinks!
You know you're in Laughlin when...
Retirees at the slot machines look more focused than Wall Street traders!
You know you're in Laughlin when...
A '$19 hotel room' sign sounds completely normal!
What's the best view in Laughlin?
The one from your $19 hotel room overlooking the Colorado River — because the view is free but the minibar isn't!
Why do people love Laughlin more than Vegas?
Because in Laughlin, your wallet doesn't need therapy after the trip!
A tourist asks: 'What's the best thing about Laughlin casinos?'
A local says: 'The buffet. Definitely the buffet.'